Sunday, February 22, 2015

Descriptive Essay (winter break)

             Over the winter break, I did a lot of things such as travelling, spending time with family/ friends, and going to fun places. To start off the long winter break, I decided to start my homework early so that I wouldn’t need to cram everything in at the end of the break. I learned to do this because of my procrastination during the summer break with the AP summer assignments. I realized that it really behooved me because I really had a lot of free time to do a lot of fun things throughout the course of the break. From spending time with people to travelling, my winter break was very productive.
            On Christmas Eve, a few days after the break had started, I went to Six Flags with three close friends. This trip had been planned earlier but we saw that it would be best to go before Christmas. We woke up at around 6 am and we all met at Wilshire and Western at around 8 am. From there, we took several different subways and busses to get all the way to Magic Mountain. It was long yet fun because we took a lot of pictures and talked a lot. It was also very cheap because we rode the bus instead of riding the train, which would’ve taken a lot less time. At six flags, we rode a lot of different rides. We decided to start off with a ride called ‘Full Throttle’, a very fast and exhilarating ride. It was a good ride to start off with since this ride usually had a very long line that we would have had to wait in. Since we woke up early and got to Six Flags early, we rode many rides such as Viper, Superman, Drop of Doom, Batman, Goliath, Tatsu, Green Lantern, and more. We left when the amusement park closed which was at around 8 pm. We then went to go eat at a place called Denny’s to end the day. It was really a fun and productive day and definitely started my winter break off with a blast.
            On Dec. 27th,  my mom and I flew to Korea to visit our family and to spend time in different cities. We wanted to visit my grandmother, grandfather, cousins and nieces. I spent my time in Korea from Dec. 28, 2014 all the way to Jan 8, 2015. Though I was homesick and missed my friends, it really didn’t matter because it was so nice seeing all of my family members all healthy and well. I stayed at my cousin’s house and mostly played with her daughters, my nieces. Since they were my mom’s sister’s daughter’s daughters, they called me uncle. They were really cute and without them, I would’ve been bored for the majority of the time in the house. When I wasn’t home, I went to many different cities and ate many different Korea foods using the train/ subway. I was surprised to see that the subway in Korea was more advanced than the subway here in LA. It was also a lot cleaner and peaceful; in LA, there would often be people on drugs, fighting, yelling, or creating some kind of ruckus while in Korea, everyone respected each other’s privacy.
On Jan. 1, 2015, I went to my grandfather’s house, on my dad’s side, to celebrate the New Years. It was really nice to see him because he used to take care of me when I was really little. I hadn’t seen him for many years. I also got to see all my cousins on my dad’s side who I also didn’t see ever since I was really young. All my cousins, their parents, my parents and I bowed to my grandfather first for he was the eldest. It is a Korean tradition to bow down to someone one or more generations above you. As we bowed he gave me and my cousins money. On New Year’s, it is common to receive money from the people you bow to such as your grandparents and parents. I was embarrassed because I momentarily forgot how to bow but I quickly remembered on the spot and did it. It was good to revert back to the old Korean traditions in Korea while I was so Americanized here in LA. Overall, Korea was a great trip for I met so many people I didn’t meet for a long time and I hope to return as soon as possible to see them again.

            My winter break was a blast and it was probably the best winter break I had ever had. It started off great spending time with my friends at six flags and then going to Korea to see my family members in Korea. I know that since I’m a junior, it’s going to be a long summer filled with tests and exams so I wouldn’t be going on any more trips any time soon so I was happy to make the most out of this break.

4 comments:

  1. This essay contains great amounts of specific examples that help illustrate your various activities. Your use of varied diction make the essay more sophisticated and interesting. I was riveted by the story and the overall flow of the essay, which were enhanced by your use of distinct details.

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  2. Your intro paragraph gives a brief description of what you did during the break. Then the concluding paragraph totally summed up the entire essay as briefly as possible and addressed the prompt in a descriptive manner. If the essay had more imagery, the essay would be more fun and I think I would be able to picture your whole winter break. Although the essay did have some grammatical errors, overall it was a good descriptive essay.

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  3. Although the essay did some vague after reading so many of these, the post is actually substantial in a perspective that sees you as a person and not as another repetitive essay. Throughout the explanation and elaboration of your story, you used seemingly hidden rhetoric strategies and language techniques to grasp the audience into becoming engaged to your essay such as using emotional appeal, alliteration, and other fun or amusing strategies to get your audiences' attention.

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  4. Good job on being detailed on how you were feeling, what you did, and when you did it. This essay great amounts of specific examples that help illustrate your various activities.

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